So as I unpack September this year, I aint gone lie, this been one hard ass reflecting year and I am hearing you with much clarity these days.
2nd was our anniversary
7rh you out up that church finger do he excused
11th Mr birthday with you and my birthday twin of which I have never celebrated without him but he I.
25th we have your final service or worship service.
People have their own love language.
No matter one’s love language, people on the outside can say or judge who does and don’t do what and is totally oblivious and discombobulated.
“In sickness and in health.”
Here reflecting on one of the hardest days of my life.
I’m not sure if it was because you left us, forever here on earth.
I’m not sure if it was because it was, how you left us here on earth.
I’m not sure if it was because I had to face the children and tell them you left us here on earth.
All were equally hard because our world was shattered, here on earth.
When we stood and made those vows, we were true in our utterance.
I am emphasizing the in sickness and health piece of our vows because in reciting these vows, we had some poignant verbs that embodied the man you were.
You chose to TAKE on the role of a man, husband, father, and pawpaw and you lead, lived, cared, provided, and protected us and you TOO it seriously simultaneously.
You chose to not only HAVE a family but in the good and bad times, not leave when it was many times warranted. You extended yourself, grew yourself, found yourself, battled inwardly with yourself but never failed to come through for the family, ever. Even being bed ridden for the small time you were, FAMILY was STILL your ultimate priority and you showed it until the end.
When you made the vow to HOLD me down, it was you holding us ALL down, you did it without missing a beat, you did it selflessly, you did it genuinely, you did it respectfully, you did it perpetually, you did it considerably and you did it Godly.
Your LOVE language was seen, needed, appreciated, known, heard, felt, understood, shown and reciprocated.
You worked hard for us, you provide for us, you secured us and rested. O but when that front door opened and you heard any size feet hit those steps, even skipping steps you sat up, rolled over or whatever you did but your undivided attention we all had.
Why?
You were CHERISHED, and your wisdom was expected, direction needed and humor anticipated and silence caused depth of thought so we could make our own wise decisions.
A PART of us left when you left, your departure is evidence of just how much wholeness our family was because of you, and with you.
In Sickness, I in my feeble state on the couch unable to really move, can see you slowly (slower than usual, who can we believe that?) creeping down the stairs to make sure I was ok or had my medicine or juice and I am crawling up the stairs to see if you needed more water while attempting to keep my distance trying not to spread what was spread anyway.
When there was no more, limpness, no movement and faint voice like the air was literally being extracted, the sincerity of those vows you took was literally to the end.
As a teacher who is a REVOLUTIONARY one instead of an OPPRESSIVE one understand that absolutely EVERYTHING have something to do with RACE and we are always taking the BIG HITS.
To our youth, understand what has happened in the last 25 to 30 years……
If we celebrated a holiday in this country, the root was always BLACK LIVES.
We BLACK PEOPLE have ALWAYS been the catalyst in this country and around the world for being:
family focused, loyal, discerning, intuitive, family first, family loving, scholastic, compassion, resilient, impeccable, critical thinkers, forward in motion, progressive in vision, mission guided, objective holding, high standards, high expectations, never malice, never hatred, never, viciousness, never discombobulating, never misconstrued, always reading, willing able, dignified, fairness, truth, humility, unity, equality, equity, accountable, responsible, moral, prideful, empathetic, kindness, decency, gentle, considerate, loving, unified, brilliant, excellent, collective, principled, value owning, high character exhibiting and stranding true, heavy and tall on that ALL, PATRIOTICISM, RIGHTS, & JUSTICE.
Today and in listening to, watching and understanding this free generation, now they are FREE to be mediocre, rude, illiterate, unconcerned, disrespectful, inconsiderate, immoral, unjust, toxic, malicious, ignorant and all things white and above but their antonyms.
Malcolm X said, “ONLY A FOOL WOULD ALLOW THE ENEMY TO EDUCATE THEIR CHILDREN.”
We couldn’t wait to be around those who were ANTI BLACKNESS.
The same ones WE taught but managed to get us away from our foundation, cornerstone, community, unity, innate brilliance, strength, resilience and the BLACKEST THING EVER of being ingenious, problem solvers, solution oriented, researchers, inventive, creative and using our minds, hands and resources to being around them where they strip it, deny it, omit it and exclude it and lastly profit off of it and now we are here.
Why this?
Why now?
I am an educator and anytime I have the eye, ear and hearts of our children, I am educating on realness and why we are here, and what is going on in this country.
It will perpetuate unless our future understand these 7 quotes,
We Miss You Buddy!
💔 your love story is a foundation on which your children will build their future and you will know his hand is guiding them still 🌈
Sharing your sadness. Respecting your beautiful thoughts.